I found it interesting how different parenting styles can
have such dramatic effects on how a child might turn out. The book breaks down
these styles into four categories; authoritarian parents are very strict and
show little to no affection to their child. They do not take into consideration
how their child feels. This can lead to poor self-esteem, depression, and the
child could lack empathy. Permissive (indulgent) parents are very caring to
their child but they do not set rules. The down side is that children are more likely
to get into trouble and it may lead to substance abuse problems. Permissive parenting
is almost as bad as the uninvolved parent. This can also cause a child to get
into trouble and have substance abuse problems. The only difference is that
permissive parenting can increase child’s self-esteem whereas the uninvolved
parent can cause the child to have depression. The most effective style of
parenting is the authoritative style. This is where there is lots of love but
there are still consistent rules.
It made me think about a family that had authoritarian style
parenting. They did not let their child have play dates except for special
occasions. The child’s day was filled with school work and band practice and never let the child
have any down time to do the things they wanted. It started to show the stress
that was put on the child when would have break downs for no reason. I guess I
just don’t see how parents think it’s okay to except so much out of a child.
Maybe it’s their culture. I personally like to think of myself as an authoritative
parent most of the time. There needs to boundaries and children need to know
that they are loved.
I agree with you completely there needs to be boundaries, but also there needs to be love and understanding otherwise the child will develop differently. Kids need structure love and understanding.
ReplyDeleteI certainly agree with both you and the comment above. My blog this week was also about the parenting styles, because I worked at a day care and could see the affects of the different parenting styles. I would hope that I would be able to give my children the right balance of boundaries and love, but parenting is the hardest job out there. While I don't understand parents who want to be their child's friend, or parents that would like to just be the dictator, I feel guilty judging since I do not have my own children.
ReplyDeleteI think permissive parenting and uninvolved parenting make the kids try to find another person to latch onto for a parent figure. Maybe it would be a teacher, or a friend. Not only do they look for parent figures, but they want more intimacy (having a really strong relationship)with friends, and when relationships dont work out it hurts more than it would a child that had an authoritative parent. I have a friend whose dad has fallen under all these categories. He verbally abused her,was very strict, then moved to Texas without letting her know. She now feels like she has a better bond with him because she began to communicate with him again. I honestly would not have an ounce of respect for my dad by then, but her situation is rough as her mother was out of her life for years so her dad was really her only parent figure for a while.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that it's not o.k. to expect so much from a child. There has to be a balance and some parents, like you mentioned, totally overschedule their children and this can cause a lot of stress to them. Usually, it seems, if the child's life is overscheduled, so are the parent's lives, so where is the quality time that they spend together as a family? Life doesn't always have to be hectic! I think, in general, more people need to slow down and enjoy life and each other!
ReplyDelete